While both women and men face challenges in increasingly collaborative workplaces, women are also charged with tightly controlling their emotions in order to positively drive public perception.

It may not be fair, but the double standard is alive and kicking in the workplace. A recent study indicates that while a man who gets angry at work may be admired, a woman who behaves similarly is liable to be viewed as incompetent.

Victoria Brescoll, of the Yale University Department of Psychology, conducted three studies to examine the way perceptions of ability and competence are affected by the relationship between gender and anger. She found that respondents usually attributed a woman’s anger to internal characteristics, such as “she is an angry person,” while men’s emotional reactions were attributed to external circumstances (the actions of a co-worker, for example). What’s more, when asked what salary they would assign to the hypothetical workers, the angry woman “earned” far less than the angry man.

Of course, current leadership theory does not endorse anger as an effective management tool for men or women. And women, overall, are now generally considered to possess stronger skills for managing today’s workplace, including a willingness to explore compromise and solicit other people's opinions, empower staff and embrace diversity, among other things. But Brescoll’s study shows that women have a stronger incentive than men to control their emotions at work.

Here are a few tips, culled from the Mayo Clinic and other sources, to help you manage moments when anger or frustration threatens to get the best of you:

• Don’t Take the Bait. The first rule is not to let your emotions rule you. If someone upsets you, pause before you say something you’ll regret later.
• Take a Time Out. Sometimes, the best solution is to distance yourself—physically—from the situation before you react. Politely tell whomever you’re dealing with that you’ll get back to him or her. If you can’t leave, try the old standard: Count silently to 10 to let the moment pass before you respond.
• Own your feelings. Describe issues using “I …” statements to avoid criticizing or placing blame. Say, “I’m disappointed that ...,” or, “I feel that …”
• Exert Yourself. Blow off steam by taking a walk around the block or hitting the gym after work. Rechannel the energy you’re putting into your anger.
• Calm Down. Whether it’s breathing exercises, listening to music or practicing yoga, find some time in your day for a calming activity.
• Don't Hold a Grudge. After the issue is resolved, let it go, no matter what compromises you’ve had to make.

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